Uh...So, Yeah

There's nothing like the thrill of looking over a sea of people, knowing all eyes are on you. Over the years, I have had many opportunities to speak, well, publicly, and I've learned a lot about myself. Let it be known, however, that I will be analyzing myself from an objective point of view and will not be tooting my proverbial horn.

In high school, I was lucky enough to take a communication skills class where all we did was give speeches. Consequently, I gained a lot of experience. One thing I learned from that class was that I was able to engage the class quite well with humor and other hooks. It is apparent to me now that a major strength I had was creativeness. My high school communications class helped to provide a good base of knowledge which I am often thankful for.

Whether in high school or in the present, I realize that my greatest strength in public speaking is confidence. When I go up to give a speech and look out over the dozens of eyes staring at me I don't feel panicked. I am able to stay calm and make myself believe that I am about to give the greatest speech known to man. While my speeches are obviously not the best, I can at least inspire myself with a little bit of confidence. Personally, having strong confidence in myself allows me to stay relaxed and give a better speech.

As good or as bad as I may be, I am still a mere mortal. I have flaws. I feel one of my most prominent is getting a mental block and using verbal fillers. If I start to lose my flow of thoughts I sometimes lose focus and may throw an "um" or a prolonged "uhhhh" in my speech. To remedy this, I am working on staying clam when my flow of thoughts is interrupted. I'm also trying to remedy the "uh" problem by telling myself that silence is always better than an "uh." I think if I can remain calm when I run into a metal roadblock and limit my use of verbal fillers, I will be a better speaker.

Another problem I recently noticed was my monotone voice and lack of voice inflection. Lack of
variation in tone makes a speaker sound disinterested and dull, and that's the last thing I want to be. So, in the wake of my last speech, I have been making a conscious effort to add more tone variation in my every day speaking voice. I've found that adding these variations actually puts me in a better mood. It must be the similar to how the physical act of smiling, even when you're sad, can make you happier. I think if I can fix my lack of tone variation in my voice, my talks would improve greatly.

With a little work and some confidence, I think I can give you guys some good speeches!

I Need It!

In the modern age, seemingly everyone is glued to either a phone or computer screen. With advances in technology, we are able to do things that were once unthinkable: communicate in real time with people thousands of miles away, send mail instantly through Emails, and post a selfie in mere seconds. Although technology offers tremendous opportunity, we have become too dependent on it. In both the Circle and in real life, the ability to rapidly send and receive information through technology creates a belief in people that they must know everything.

In the Circle, with advanced technology, such as SeeChange, humans are given the ability to know almost anything, making people crave information. While such cutting-edge technology may seem advantageous at first, it creates unlimited want. For example, in one instance, Mae publishes a survey in which she asks "Is Mae Holland awesome or what?" (Eggers 408). Even though 97 percent of people give her a "smile," 3 percent, a scant 368 people, give her a "frown." Mae becomes obsessed with the 3 percent and believes it is up to her to "know those who frowned at her were, and to win them over" (419). Without technology, Mae would never know these 368 people didn't like her. Despite having an overwhelming majority, she is only concerned with knowing who the 368 are and how to make them like her. Mae's reliance on technology makes it clear to see that she is faced with unknowns, she becomes stressed.

Real life isn't much different from the Circle. Have you ever gone somewhere and one of your friends has gotten mad because you didn't tell them beforehand? Everyone in our society has a cellphone and can instantaneously send and receive information. We become so used to knowing every movement of each other though our use of Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and the like. It has come to a point where we believe it's socially unacceptable for people to not exist online. We need to know at least some details of every person's life.

With the help of social media and our cellphones, many of us stay in constant contact with our friends, even if we are not in their physical presence. But this reliance on technology has developed an insatiable desire for information. For example, if you text a friend inviting them to dinner, but they don't answer their phone, you're left wondering why they're "ignoring" you. Thoughts run through your mind: "Do they hate me?" "What did I do?" "Where are they?" "Are they in danger?" In reality, their phone probably died. Because we are so accustomed to having constant communication with other people, we often become distressed when disconnected, even if only for a moment.

Kids these days.
Photo via: Esther Vargas

We are lucky to live in such an advanced culture. Many of us have access to state-of-the-art devices in our daily lives. Still, this blessing does not come devoid of problems. Like Mae, many of us use social media on a daily basis. We are hyper-aware of everyone else's movements. We have become so used to knowing so much, that we are always needing more and more information.  

All Hail the Circle

Before I begin this post, I am going to ask you to think of a weed, similar to one you may find in a garden. At one point in time a weed is just a small, invisible seed in the ground. Within time, the weed grows from a seed, to a small plant. It eventually becomes invasive and tangles itself in other plants and objects, making it almost impossible to destroy.  Like a weed, the Circle started from humble beginnings. As time progresses, however, the Circle grows into an influential and powerful entity that entangles people in its mission to become an all-powerful organization.

As the size and capabilities of the Circle grows, so does the influence it wields on relationships. It's clear to see that Mae is totally engrossed by the Circle, and her life is focused on advancing in the company. The Circle has such a proud influence on Mae that she cannot focus on sustaining a relationship with anyone, even her parents. In fact, Mae's father tells her that living like a Circler is "actually very stressful" (Eggers 367). Mae's need to satisfy her followers binds her to the plight of her father who is suffering from MS. She responds coldly: "Stop. You sound terrible"(368). Mae gets to a point where she cares more about her job, than she does about human connections and feelings, even when regarding her own parents. This point illustrates how the Circle controls Mae's mind and puts a strain on her relationship with her parents. 

The Circle's invasive roots ensnare people who want nothing to do with the company. In the case of Mae's parents, their lives are "already pretty fraught" (368) and they do not have time for the Circle's antics. Still, Mae is so encapsulated by the Circle's way of life that she attempts to suck other people  into it as well. She initiates the installation of SeeChnage cameras in their household and expects her ailing father and weary mother to respond to messages from followers. You can see how Mae is used by the Circle to suck people into its way of life. 

With the influence of the Circle expanding to an ever greater audience, the company begins pondering totalitarian ideas. Having already established a monopoly on the technology industry, the only remaining course of action is to attempt to replace the United States government. Its only logical: first technology, then the United States, then the world! When discussing the capabilities of the Circle, Stetson boldly inquires, "...wouldn't it eliminate much of Washington?" (395).  The Circle's unbridled power and strong influence leads them to adopt totalitarian ideas. For example, if a dictator of a nation sees an opportunity to annex another nation, he will do so in order to increase his own power. In a similar manner, the influence that the Circle has developed creates an opportunity for even more power.

Left unchecked, a weed can grow throughout a garden and strangle all other plants. Its roots spread throughout the ground and more plants pop up. The Circle, like a weed, spreads its roots though its excessive use of technology. Unrestrained, the Circle weed could envelope an entire nation. 

Oversharing is Not Caring!

We've all heard the saying "sharing is caring" at some point in our lives. As kids, we usually heard this during some petty fit of selfishness. At the Circle, however, this saying means something completely different. The Circle, having become completely dependent on technology, adopts a policy of transparency where the mantras "secrets are lies", "privacy is theft", and "sharing is caring,"are held as dogma. In our "real" world, the Circle's policy of transparency would simply not work due to people's inherent craving for privacy and peace.

For Circlers, privacy is almost non-exitnent. It is this world that Mae is forced to live in. Within time the Circle's technologies and capabilities get downright creepy, as people's entire lives are available for anyone to see. Many Circlers submissively embrace the doctrine, whereas Mae is hesitant. When discovers that Francis has recorded a sexual encounter between the two, Mae cries, "Francis. I can't believe this. Delete that. Now" (Eggers 205). In this incident, even an elite Circler is demanding privacy.

Photo Credit: Ervins Strauhmanis

In the real world, sexual intimacy is one of the most private aspects of people's lives. This is a case where privacy is not a "theft" of any kind. I believe Francis is actually stealing Mae's privacy. And the fact that Francis refuses to delete the video, would be considered an inexcusable sexual crime. Not to mention that anyone in the real world would consider it downright creepy. I was disgusted by Francis! Still, other Circles crave complete transparency. For example, Annie tells Mae that "[they] don't delete [at the Circle]" (206). Even Mae's friend, Annie, values the company over privacy.

Along with transparency, sharing is central principle in Circle life. Every Circler just wants to get the highest PartiRank possible, and to do that they must share, share, and share some more. When Mae takes a break from work and visits her parents and ex-boyfirend, Mercer, she is unable to stop herself from being sucked into technology. Mae becomes immersed in getting "smiles" on her shared photo of Mercer's chandelier. She is so removed from reality, that her mother states, "... I just don't understand why you do this now. We're trying to enjoy a nice dinner" (259). Although Mae has good intentions, her oversharing angers her family and ex-boyfriend.

A person immersed in their phone.
Photo Credit: Roberto Trombetta

In a similar way, in real life, I can often become so engrossed in my phone that I need someone to tap me on the shoulder and bring me back to reality. Just like Mercer, though, I can become frustrated when my friends are on their phones all the time. Also, I don't always want my information shared on the internet. Perhaps I don't want a certain selfie on the internet. Or maybe I prefer to keep all my information private and off the internet. In the real world, people don't want everything to be known about them. In the real world, people value face-to-face interaction. The Circle's ideas and values would not hold any bearing in the real world.

I See You Didn't Update Your Blog Information...

How would you feel if your friends and colleagues needed to know everything you did? Although people are naturally social, everyone craves privacy at some point. At the Circle, however, Mae discovers that her co-workers demand she surrender every bit of personal information. The Circle's overuse of social technology leads to an environment without privacy, where everyone knows everything about anyone. This lack of privacy results in the Circle community becoming too intimate with one another, even with complete strangers.

Privacy, as Mae learns, is a word in the Circle's dictionary. Before long, Mae is forced to understand the importance of interconnectedness at the Circle. One day, a fellow Circler, Gina, explains, "'We actually see your profile...This is how your coworkers, even those on the other side of campus, know who you are'" (Eggers 95). Yikes. Mae's coworker, already entrenched in the Circle's ideology, nonchalantly tells Mae how her information will be shared with and known by everyone at the company. I'm not sure I would be too happy with that. I think Gina's statement about sharing information foreshadows how problems will inevitably arise with a lack of privacy.  

 As Gina explains, there's no privacy at the Circle, everything about everyone is known by all. So, what happens when people can access even the most obscure information about you? They begin to get overly intimate. For instance, one of Mae's coworkers, Alistair, discovers she went to Portugal. When Mae fails to attend Alistair's "Portugal Brunch," she is summoned to a meeting with her boss. In the meeting Alistair is "holding back tears" until Mae fabricates an apology (107). Alistair's sensitivity to Mae's absence shows he feels too intimately about her, even though they have never met. When was the last time you cried over a stranger? I think because Alistair had access to all of Mae's information, both past and present, he developed a connection with her, despite them being complete strangers to one another. 

Beyond being expected to participate in every event she is invited to, Mae is also expected to routinely inform others about every aspect of her life. Mae is remonstrated when two Circlers, Josiah and Denise, discover that she kayaks and had not shared that information with anyone. Josiah angrily condemns Mae as "'not being engaged with the people around [her]'" (189).  Circlers like Josiah and Denise are accustomed to having complete "transparency," they feel intimate with other people's lives, no matter how obscure the individual is. Historically, it took days, months, even years to know a person's life story. In a matter of minutes, however, a Circler can know everything about an individual. I think because information is so readily available, Circles feel closer to each other than they really are. There is no human connection through technology, as there are no human qualities to be found in pixels and code. Mae's lack of transparency hurts her colleagues who feel intimate with her.

With such incredible technology, the people at the Circle can know a person's life story in a matter of minutes. This "transparency" makes Circlers feel intimate about complete strangers. 

The Circle Prompt 1

At some point in everyone's life, change is inevitable. Some changes are big and some are small. After reading The Circle, I realized that Mae, a new employee, and me, a new Penn State student, are similar in many ways. Coming from small hometowns, both Mae and I are forced to digest the complexity of a new life in a strange place and must adopt the practices that its community sees as commonplace.

When exploring a new environment, it is the physical aspects that are often most apparent. Like me, Mae comes from a small town. The immensity and beauty of the Circle immediately strikes her: "My God, Mae Thought. It's heaven" (Eggers 1). In fact, this was almost the exact response I had when I first came to Penn State. I was intoxicated by the school's beauty and the seemingly endless rows of buildings. I remember instantly falling in love with the school and the infinite opportunities it presented.

After exploring a new environment, it important to know and adopt the practices of the community in order to fit in. At first, Mae confusedly navigates her way around the campus "trying to look as if she belonged" (1). Admittedly, this is exactly what I tried to do when I first came to Penn State. I've always gone to a small school of no more than a few hundred. All of sudden,  I was forced to go searching for everything in the random mix of building and streets. Just like Mae, I walked around as if I knew what I was doing, even though I really didn't.

Within time, though, both Mae and I learned to adopt community practices. Although hesitant at first, Mae allows Annie to take her to a party where the members of the community eat, drink, and socialize (31). At Penn State, I take every opportunity to forge relationships with the strangers that surround me. Meals not only allows us to live, but they afford us a time to be social, make connections, and celebrate.

Still, both Mae and I understand that to really embed ourselves into a community we have to accept their values. During Mae's first days at the circle, "everyone she met was busy" (29). It is quickly apparent to Mae that the Circle community values hard work, the driving force of the company. Wanting to be accepted, she soon makes herself busy and works to achieve a high customer rating. As a freshman at Penn State, I, too, am keen to observe the practices and values of the community. Upon arriving to Penn State, some of the main things I noticed were the intense passion surrounding football and the dedication to academics. Having identified these key points of Penn State life, I attend the football games and chant "WE ARE!" with thousands of other community members.

In the same way that Penn State forces me to alter how I live, the Circle thrusts Mae into a completely foreign environment. Although difficult at first, learning the practices and values of a community are paramount when trying to be fit in. Even the simplest of traditions, such as a meal or a "WE ARE!" chant can forge connections.  For me, it is these camaraderie building moments that will ultimately make Penn State feel like a second home.

Potential Blog Ideas

I think I have too many passions in life. My mom can certainly tell you how I'd pick up a new interest almost every year and how I would become almost obsessed with it. So, when choosing what I would be writing about,  I thought about what I do presently, on a day-to-day basis. With either option, I seek to translate my passion into excitement for the reader.

Carpe See 'Em
When I began brainstorming, the first thing I thought of was people watching. And, yes, you read that correctly. I promise I'm not a person of questionable morality nor am I creep. I am, however, fascinated by the human species and the forces that compels a human being to do the things.

 If I were to write about people watching, each week I would watch a person, or a group of people on campus, from afar. I would observe and analyze their every move. Who knows, I may see something profound, or I may just end up watching someone eat dinner. But, no matter the case, the great thing about humans is that you never know what they're going to do next.

After observing my subjects and analyzing their behavior, I plan to  articulate my inquires and generate hypotheses about why they acted the way they did. If prudent, I may also add factual research data of human psychology. I believe this topic's unpredictability will add excitement with each blog.

One Out of 86,400
During my senior year of high school, I decided to take a one second video every day to capture memories with the friends I would soon be leaving behind. At the end of the year, my friends and I were able to recall countless memories through the mash-up of one second videos.

Upon arrival to Penn State, I decided I would do the same thing: highlight one second of my day, every day. In these videos, I film something special about that specific day. In my blog, I would post and discuss the one second video. I would also answer questions such as, "how did I end up there?" and "why is that pork roll sandwich so important to you?" Indeed, I have take many videos that were hard to explain in the moment, but the significance was later apparent. After all, we only have so many seconds to live and we should cherish every one of them.

While I am passionate about both of my ideas, I will be strongly influenced by peer feedback. However, I believe either topic offers infinite unpredictably and excitement.